Finished March 14, 2022
This memoir chronicles the author's identity theft story, which involved a dysfunctional childhood, a passive yet faithful father, and a self-absorbed mother who sacrificed everything and everyone on the alter of her own self-involved fantasies.
This poor girl managed to emerge fairly normal (other than the fact that she doesn't live with her husband for large chunks of the year). She managed to forgive her mother, stay close to her father, and finish her education. Sadly, she does not plan to have children, which is understandable, given her mother's attitudes toward her own child (her mother went to her 30th high school reunion and never mentioned she had a daughter; and mentioned in a Facebook message that the worst day of her life was the first day her husband left her in the house with the baby). This is normal for narcissistic personality types, because raising a child with love requires that you put the child first, which is hell for people like this.
There is some good information in the book about identity theft, but mostly, it's about the author's sometimes obsessive journey (she showed up at the workplace of her mom's high school friend who didn't respond to her requests to share what he remembered about her mom) to discover the truth about the isolation, dysfunction, and betrayal of her childhood. An intriguing read, it made me grateful for my upbringing, both the beginning -- during which I was raised by good, loving, Christian foster parents -- and the end, during which I was raised by a bio mom who didn't want to be a mom but did it anyway.
This is not great literature. But it's an intimate look at someone's unconventional life, which I think will stay with me for a long time.
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